nıghtmare shells
whenever ı awaken
you are not there
ı am myself by my side
ı and the shells of my dreams left over from the night
like used up eggs
and who would you say had layed those eggs
water was drowned in water last night
ı saw the swollen body of each rain drop
on the surface of the turgid, purple sea
and the wind didnt know how to take wing
never mind that it blew everything away
ıt kept falling flat on his head on the ground
whenever ı awaken soaked in bloody sweat
you are not there
only myself and the broken shells of my nightmare
are by my side.
do not ask me anything
you've never seen thomas ray's shop
never seen the figures he makes
all negro, all wood
dark things go on in that shop at night
as stark dark as a negro
dont ask cause ı dont know very much either
being a stranger in these parts.
you havent seen madame kaye's shop either
a shop from the 1930's
only womens intimate wear is sold there
satin, silk and lace underwear of all colors
at night weird men come and go there
what goes on ı dont know either
dont ask cause ı'm a stranger in these parts
ı can see your shadow stalking me
dressed in jealousy
sliding along pitch-dark walls
reminding me that ı'm living wrong
fire at the tip of my tongue
my hair ablaze
explosions in my eyes
betrayal at the roots of my hair
please do not ask me anything,
cause ı'm a stranger in these parts.
empty garden
your pillow howls
ı howl
you're gone, so is your black hair
were you here ı'd rest my head on your shoulder,
ı know your heart beating fast,
your pasted-on wings racing with birds
once again you've burnt down my lushest forest
left me bereft of you
your absence a knife cutting velvet
bloodless
your pillow weeps
ı weep,
the snow even has melted but you're not back
no blood much pain your being gone
left behind you one denuded garden
night's dress
the night says, ı'm coming, before it comes
comes quietly
dresses in black clothes
christ, what an awesome attire
the night comes mostly to his house
to his terrible garden
where once laughter dripped
from the leaves of the ivy
then the games of candles with the moon
and those lamps rainbow hued
the liquer spilling out of lions' maws
crystal cups a thousand pieces at the end of the night
mistaken for stars by those who see them
the night comes mostly to his pool
where once there was stark naked dancing
ıts water tainted now with blood
spurt by a bullet from the mouth of a gun
when night comes, a shade
secretly slips down to the garden
one by one it pulls in
the sculptures heavy like dead bodies
and the door closes
christ how terrible that closing sound
the water in the pool still red
thin wailings dripping from the ivy leaves
the candles playful in the moonlight
like shadows of a murder if you watch
when night comes the sculptures are all inside
may be its a sphinks in his bosom now
so weirdly wailing
the night says ı'm coming before it comes
christ how dark is the dress it wears
the room at the end of the corridor
she lives in hotel rooms
her room at the corridor's end
ı think of her walking out of the door.
suitcase in hand
every corner spic and span
never a trace left behind when she leaves
then in another hotel room
a new beginning
ı think of her sitting at her desk
her lamp on
shoulders slightly humped
pen in hand.
reading something or writing
whichever hotel it is
ıts her at the corridor's end
suitcase on the floor
ready for the next move
terror pictures
blood dropped from the easel to her face
she scooped it up, smeared it all over herself
then gazed with lust at herself in the mirror
she was stark naked
she kissed herself in crystal mirrors
and started her song
ın the name of freedom, peace and revolution
ınsisting on the moustache
the pipe, the cigar
she loves her husband very much
her buttery fat husband
and her painted nails
she almost dies in her bed each night
her past a movie she cant give up watching
the angel of death the black tulip at the bedside
she makes love to herself in foaming bath tubs
blood in all the pictures
pictures on all the paints
oaths, slogans ever on all lips
for the sake of freedom, peace and revolution
with her buttery she sometimes catches up
with her womanhood
or else she takes off her breasts and throws them away
the moustache long as can be and as black
living her manhood at a nurses side
then one day she draws an endless picture on life
crimson, lavish with blood
everything for life's sake
everything for living
her coffin is covered with the red flag
doves are flitting around, with wounded wings
fat husband is weeping at her side
letters
letters fluttering in the sky
winged, spangled letters
letters filled with recriminations, hurt and heart-break
letters bottled, floating on the surface of seas
letters slow dowdling, too late
letters for lovers, friends and mothers
letters on the rails of choo-choo trains
some of them run-over, bleeding
bleeding most profusely, those
that regret ever having been written
letters entangled on bycle wheels
cheer-giving, sad-making letters
and the most beautiful those still unwritten
green woman
green woman
who was it placed you inside this lonelines
left you all by yourself in the middle of the sea
exposed to the snows, the rain, the heat
which never-arriving ship are you waiting for
this pride, this power, this emotion
unbelievable
green woman
you are a slave for freedom's sake, how strange
first time ever ı see an illuminated hand
and its yours
green woman
don't wait any more
ı dont think your ship
ıs ever coming in
icy poem
ice blooming tulip
derwish whirling on ice
white falcon black eagle
wings frozen in ice
rudolf's slender legs
a balerinas arms outstretched to the sky
thornes growing along
the icy path leading to god
a swan breathing his last on the ice
the body of an ice- drowned lily- of- the- pond
while you, how very hot you are
as if challenging all things icy
how hot your stallactites and stallagmites
wish you were here so all the ice could melt
dressed ın tıme
she took off every thing that was on her
stark naked her body
save for the watch on her arm
jet-black wrist watch
so she donned that wrist watch, dressed herself up in time
like putting on a black cloak
the year was the space quarter, the season winter
the day tuesday
life lived on the spur of the moment as always
the watch works ticking on
her body works ticking on, forever alert
time, ever so abstract
now melted, dripping
as in dali's painting
and where the hands of the watch meet
ıs her most punctual spot now.
crown of thorns
ın memory of Frida Kahlo
so you too have worn the crown of thorns
ın the midst of the forest
your neck is bleeding
ı remember you in this green dress
wild flowers of all colors
ın your black hair
whose bloody hand is it you're wearing
ınstead of your earring now
the night is almost here
soon the jackals will be out
and even the vultures
you, why did you wear the crown of thorns
your green dress is soaked all red now
what's happened to us
have we gone down with the titanic?
or got lost in the bermuda triangle mysteries?
oh, what's happened to us my dear?
somewhere we have mislaid something
no more parachutes falling down on the bed
no more space ships squeaking like birds
ı cut down my bean stalks before they could grow ınto trees
oh what's happened to me, my dear
had they told me ı'd have wept
yet my eyes are dry like walnut shells.
and you, what's happened to you?
porpoises used to gambol in your snuggest corners
ın those days my words would have hurt
didnt you use to say you hated the rhinoceros?
what a liar you turn out to be
oh, what's happened to us my dear!
transvestite
ı wrapped myself up in your clothes while you were gone
ı kept opening your closet and wearing everything thats yours
ı cut my hair short like yours too
you'd think ı was you if you saw me
you've left your smile behind
your smile like a thin water melon slice
ıf you knew, how becoming ı found it on me
ı also put on the moustache you'd left behind
that dead-fly moustache of yours
ı walked with your umbrella when it rained
ı became soaked to death under your umbrella
ı understand you better now.
de ja vu
we never dwelled in the same cities
never got mired in the same smogs
he always had ports
and toy sailors of his own.
whereas what ı had were bridges
forever uncrossed
we never sailed our boats in the same poems
never frequented the same tales
our movies also were never the same
ın his, the star marlene dietrich mostly
even the bars we patronised were not alike
his being dark and reached down by stairs
whereas mine all lit up deliriously
most strange because according to him,
ıt felt as if we'd known each other of old
hallucination
ı throw the fishes into the sea,
make them drink up the sea
but the sea is not finished
neither is the night.
ı'm ill, fever running to 39
alone hopeless a stranger in this town
ı'm having dreams
weird dreams runaway from paintings
most surreal
pink horses ı see
grazing in your fields
pink horses with wet, slippery skin
could ı but mount you on one
so you could gallop away
to your own dream places
ı can not find you
always you are where you shouldnt be
ı throw the fishes up to the nigt
so they can eat it up
but the night is unfinished
ı jump on one of the pink horses
you're not there
so puncturing the night right through its middle
off ı go any which where
greatest of follies
to look for you in this enormous city
ıs to simmer in witches' cauldrons
to scale skyscrapers and jump down parachuteless
so, you're not here then
you went away, leaving an insipid goodbye behind
each time ı think about you
ı recall a different one of your verities
ı dont know which avenues you walk across
which bar you sit in to sip your drink
ıf the restaurant you choose is spanish or french
a short tea-break in the museum's garden
the opening of an art show
out of a hundred movies which one do you choose?
funny, you do none of these
ıf only ı knew which shop window attracts you
where do you buy your shoes
may be we'd see one another in the subway
you, hurrying, would jump on a car and depart
ı'd ofcourse miss the train again
youd try to say something
ı wouldn't hear it through the din
you might very well be in a yellow cab whizzing by
to look for you in this enormous city is the biggest folly of all
camel trophy
we too once made horse-foot love, rabbit-paw,
casting off breasts and moustaches out of the window,
out of the door, arms and legs.
ı'm not a novelist
dont punish the publishers
dont gouge your eye out on my account
ı always write knee high poems
you wish me behind the camera now
extraordinary movies giant sized
the misty excitement of the cinema
the witches' cauldron bubbly boiling
our love too was once a private jet
an all yellow camel trophy
so many deep purple days with you
too shameful for the public gaze
black rose, crimson tulip
floral icecream, stark naked banana
we were a pair of wet slugs in those days
ever burrying in wrong holes
the sum of lust 372.5 kilos
put your hands up
ı dont want to choke you
please dont die the one-eye death.
a different breed
these women are of a different breed,
their hair is too much, far too much their eyelashes
their lips baloon-red
their cheeks homicide
ıts as if they fell here by mistake.
from another planet
they are a different breed, these women,
their voices an ill interpreted concerto
always a "do" where it should have been a "mi"
their nipples the nut placed on the icecream
shameless words on their lips at all times
these women are a breed apart
like the works of a surreal artist
ın their most unlikely places are hidden their most likely things
museum of modern arts
they are a different breed, yes,
when its day time their womanhood lies a-dying
drapes pulled shut, mirrors turned front to back
sadness multiplying in their eyes
their hands begin to grow big, then their feet
grow giant-sized in the light
on their faces wrong thorns
suddenly sprout
they are a different breed these women
they lie down to the night
ın order to be born again.
when dark descends and its night
all of them together the utmost woman
the avenues and sidewalks are theirs now
their laughter is heard
from beyond the mists
vampires nocturnal
looking for blood with their sharpest teeth
metamorphosis
ı have flown on ships in the sky
swam in seas of by-gone times
lived in dark tunnels
and strolled on the backs of rats
ı dressed in stark black then
blood seeped from my smiles
ı made love with snakes
my nails a scorpion each
used to spit razor blades
bats took off from my eyes when ı gazed
a nest for owls my hair
the screech of vultures my laugh
and then, you know, ı saw you
ı got down from the backs of rats
ıt was a dolphin brought me here
ı laughed and made roses for you
stars sparkled from my gaze
ı took all my clothes off
the scorpions fled, the bats flew away
then suddenly what should ı see
a snake was nesting in your bosom also
my tongue licks
my tongue slithers along nocturnal streets.
slides around licking nooks and corners
wherever it moves
licks people sometimes
ah, but thats the danger
my tongue hears the sound of a horn
a black man playing his horn
lick first the horn then the black man's mouth
then a guitar amply electrified
a punk's head, green
lick the winos slouching on the corner
lick the night
hard, as though to bring on the dawn
my tongue has turned soot black
and at long last its you it licks hard as it can
and suddenly we look and its already dawn.
new york blues
new york slipping falls from my hands
and you fall with it too
manhattan afloat in rain puddles
like a black-and-white photograph
as cubic as it can be
comparing the chrysler building with the tower of galata
ı find one is a crystal chandelier
the other a reading lamp with a bust up light bulb
and you, you are like the figures in modigliani's...
but no, no,
ın matisse's paintings
slipping from between my fingers against my wish
we're playing an E:T game
ın the sistine chapel
knee-high in melancholy
ı myself are falling down your back
higgly-piggly to truth's core
now the minarets have grazed me again
remain in good cheer, my one and only
and fare-thee-well, new york you whore
the baku wind
how quiet, the furniture
and how the talkative wind howls!
what is it he wants to tell us?
we should ask the furniture,
the clothes, the walls, the windows
their voice is muted, gentle
listen to their whisperings
ıts easy to fathom their secrets
come now, you chatterbox wind, tell us,
tell how you have wiped away everything thus.
age of metallic loves
ı know you miss me, so
ı'll send you the second me soon.
ı'll be all dressed up in iron armour
ı'll record my voice on cd's
the voice proclaiming my love for you
my image on harddisc's
so lovely and posed just as you like it
we're in the age of metallic loves
wake up already we're after indestructibleness
we will bend death's wrist yet
push the keys of your computer
and you'll get my meaning
ı've shut us up tight inside it
our DNA's and RNA's belong to it now
ask and you'll get all the answers about us
have you been missing my smell
soon it too will come to you
ıt'll wing its way to you over the distances
flowers did you say,
ı'll be sending you bouqets of roses
heavenly smelling roses of iron
don't say you don't want them
we are ın the age of metallic loves after all.
night of the knife
ıt was a knife, lying beside me that night
sharp as nail and gold-tooth bright
ı saw my own self at times
my face was red
under the assault of a thousand fireflies
and my eyes two crimson carnations
ı was burning, my whole body on fire
yes, it was a knife lying beside me that night
ıt was no accident its lying with me
ı had taken it to my bosom, tempted it
with brazen looks, revealing my most private places
the sin is all mine
ı breathed with my breasts that night
my lips short-circuited
and it, you'd think it was no knife
so docile lying beside me in bed
never mind its so rough sharpness
ıt was like a gentle dolphin
no thoughts of bloody anger or revenge had it
the night was terrific, the moon a perfect round hole in the sky
ı spent the night away with that knife
sadly it lost its brightness in time
the fireflies died and the carnations withered one by one
my conflageration dimmed away
fatigued ı fell into my umpteenth sleep
no, it hadnt been easy, after all
ıt was a knife lying by my side
now my breasts are like a sailboat afloat on the sea
my lips like spent gulls on the sand
awakening, there was no knife or any other trace from the night
ı ran to the kitchen
blood was seeping from the sharpest point of a knife
gently ı picked it up and tossed it away in the garbage
the sin is all mine
ломаешь мою броню
у меня внутреннее кровотечение
касательно жизни
я должна скрывать от всех
что умираю мало-помалу
вот я жертва на алтаре
во имя твоей свободы
можешь ли представить что ты мой палач
вправду ли сможешь жить
когда у меня внутреннее кровотечение
словно слышу твой хохот
уходи из заморских стран островов
найди и войди в свободу
в этом городе в другом городе
на сей раз меня нет
вправду ли сможешь забыть
тяжесть цветов
кто теперь станет нести эти высушенные цветы
плачу немо как рыба
тихо падают слезы
всё мы расстались конец
наш смех был как разноцветные шарики
у порога оставлю я ревность
а в любви мы уже не нуждаемся
опусти в мой ранец камни минералы
ладно кто теперь станет нести эти высушенные
цветы
я вас совсем не любила
никого из вас не любила
вы так странно смотрели на меня
не давала вам
поцеловать ни губы ни язык
я знала нет места вам в будущем
вы были обласканной кошкой в руках
могла при желании поотрывать вам хвосты
все вы были скверными обманщиками
как персонажи плохих фильмов
вы плакали меламиновыми слезами
и были на одно лицо
странно что у всех были разные имена
зачастую не могла вспомнить
я вас совсем не любила
и вы меня не любили
но это мне было до лампочки
соблазнение музы
о муза что диктует строки поэту
приходи когда хочешь без приглашенья
если острые крылья твои
промокли под ливнем
ждет тебя чай пожелаешь есть кофе
если продрогла в снегах и крылья замерзли
тепло в моем доме согрейся вином
можешь весною прийти
окна раскрыты мои
розой комната пахнет
хочешь летом приди
жарко чтоб было так жарко
я с тобой поделюсь холодным арбузом
расстели свои волосы в комнате
о муза что диктует строки поэту
прилети резвокрылая
я обещаю
никому не скажу что ты появлялась
metallik sevgilər çağı
bilirəm həsrətimi çəkirsən
yaxında ikinci məni yollayasağam sənə
polad zirehimi geyinmiş olacam
səsimi CD-lərə yazacam
sənə sevgilər sunan sevgimi
görüntümü laserdisklərə
ən xoş ən sevdiyin pozda
metallik sevgilər çağmdayız
oyan artıq əbədi olmayı arıyoruz
ölümün biləngini qıracağız
bilgisayarmın düyməsinə bas
nə demək istədiyimi anlarsan
içində həbs etdim ikimizi
DNA və RNA-larımız onda
sorsan alacaqsan haqqımızdakı bütün bilgiləri
qoxumumu özlədin
yaxmda onu da duyacaqsan
qanad çalıb uzaqlardan gələcək sənə
çiçəklərmi dedin
dəmət-dəmət güllər yollayacağam
müşk kimi qoxan dəmirdən güllər
istəmirəm demə
metallik sevgilər çağındayız
səndə öldüm
sırasıyla çıxdım nərdivanları
ağır-ağır şairin dediyi kimi
bəzən də asansörlə göydələnlərə
yeri gələndə hörümçək-adam oldum
dırmaşdım güclü vantuzlarımla
qarğa olub uçdum çatılara
bütün qatlardan atdım özümü
heç birində ölmədim
səndə öldüyüm kimi
Bakı, noyabr 2004
bakının rüzgarı
bu qədər səssizdir
əşyalar necə də hayqırır gəvəzə rüzgar
deməyə bir sözümü var
əşyalara sormalı elə isə
paltarlara divarlara evlərə
onlarm səsi üsulluca kübar
pıçıltılarını dinlə
anlamaq qolay gizlinlərini
danış haydı gəvəzə rüzgar
hər şeyi necə sildiyini
Bakı, noyabr 2004
heç bir şey sorma məndən
sən tomas raym dükanını görmədin
onun heykəllərini görmədin
hamısı zənci hamısı taxta
qaranlıq işlər baş verir gecə olan kimi o dükanda
eynən zənci kimi qapqaranlıq
sorma mən də çox şey bilmirəm
yadam çünkü buralarda
sən madam kayenin dükanmı görmədin
1930-lardan qalma
yalnız qadm camaşirləri satılır orada
sətin ipək krujevası rəngbə-rəng alt paltarları
gecə olan kimi tuhaf adamlar girib çıxırlır
nələr olur mən də bir şey bilmirəm
sorma yadam buralarda
kölgəni görürəm məni izləyir
qısqınclığı geyinmiş
qapqara divarlara sinmiş
yanlış yaşadığımı salır yadıma
dilimin ucunda od
saçlarımda yanğm
gözlərimdə partlayış
saçlarımın dibində xəyanət
heç bir şey sorma məndən nə olar
yadam çünki buralarda
